[And he appreciates Nate's "I'm sorry" in ways he doesn't know how to put into words. The atmosphere is all, like, they're supposed to be on opposite teams, right? Rooting against each other. But that isn't how it is. When it comes to each other, at least, they follow their own rules and that's why they're friends despite it all, and he never knows quite how to make sure Nate truly understands how much he appreciates that.]
[Rather than using words it tends to devolve more into them just...letting each other into their own little worlds. Trusting each other with that.]
texastoasterman: It's not even that I want fame or the love of the public or whatever. You know I'm not about that stuff. And if the press wants to criticize things that's their right, I guess.
texastoasterman: But I don't know how "doing as much as I possibly can to save as many people as I can because I choose to and because I can" got twisted somewhere down to the line to "unbalanced" or whatever. Rather than wanting to be liked, it's more like I just want to be left alone as long as I'm not really doing anything hugely wrong.
texastoasterman: Maybe I've been listening to Lord of the Rings too much on audiobook lately but it's like...there's those big stories. The big adventures and they have such dark places in the middle. And there are some characters like, you know, the Sam Gamgees, the people that take joy in simple things. And see the light in the dark.
texastoasterman: They have their moments all: "There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tower high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach."
texastoasterman: In the middle of it, while it's still all dark and messed up, they never lose faith there's the light above it all. And all they do is look towards the end of the story and want to go home to their little bit of earth. They don't want castles or praise or anything like that, you know? That's where I am now with all this stuff. I just want to be left alone.
texastoasterman: Until it's all less crazy and less dark. And then I wanna go home to my little bit of earth. And do my med school homework [That he doesn't have because he quit school, gave up that bit of his future to make sure everyone else had one] in the desert while the sun's going down. And only have to worry about the little old grannies and making them happy.
no subject
[And he appreciates Nate's "I'm sorry" in ways he doesn't know how to put into words. The atmosphere is all, like, they're supposed to be on opposite teams, right? Rooting against each other. But that isn't how it is. When it comes to each other, at least, they follow their own rules and that's why they're friends despite it all, and he never knows quite how to make sure Nate truly understands how much he appreciates that.]
[Rather than using words it tends to devolve more into them just...letting each other into their own little worlds. Trusting each other with that.]
texastoasterman: It's not even that I want fame or the love of the public or whatever. You know I'm not about that stuff. And if the press wants to criticize things that's their right, I guess.
texastoasterman: But I don't know how "doing as much as I possibly can to save as many people as I can because I choose to and because I can" got twisted somewhere down to the line to "unbalanced" or whatever. Rather than wanting to be liked, it's more like I just want to be left alone as long as I'm not really doing anything hugely wrong.
texastoasterman: Maybe I've been listening to Lord of the Rings too much on audiobook lately but it's like...there's those big stories. The big adventures and they have such dark places in the middle. And there are some characters like, you know, the Sam Gamgees, the people that take joy in simple things. And see the light in the dark.
texastoasterman: They have their moments all: "There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tower high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach."
texastoasterman: In the middle of it, while it's still all dark and messed up, they never lose faith there's the light above it all. And all they do is look towards the end of the story and want to go home to their little bit of earth. They don't want castles or praise or anything like that, you know? That's where I am now with all this stuff. I just want to be left alone.
texastoasterman: Until it's all less crazy and less dark. And then I wanna go home to my little bit of earth. And do my med school homework [That he doesn't have because he quit school, gave up that bit of his future to make sure everyone else had one] in the desert while the sun's going down. And only have to worry about the little old grannies and making them happy.
texastoasterman: Does that make any sense?