"If only looking tacky had the same effect as red sunlight - we'd beat him in a day," said Kon. "Both my alternate evil selves looked cooler than this."
But there was serious work to be done here.
Kon raised his hand like he was in class because...well, that was what you did at the big superhero meetings, right? (Right?) Or at least that's what he assumed happened when the Justice League and other superteams had their big meetings. The Titans' meetings didn't have hand raising and - mostly because of Bart but partly because of the lack of hand raising - they tended to be all over the place.
"Dude's crazy off-balance, right? I mean, he's obviously keeping it together enough to keep this choo choo train of evil from going off the rails but I saw enough of, uh, our intel -" How did he explain that was comics books? "- to see that he's also impulsive and out of control half the time. Hence caving in Green Arrow's head like a pumpkin in a fit of pique."
He went on, "So, assuming he hasn't killed Ma and Pa yet for, I don't know, making his mashed potatoes wrong and leaving Prairie Home Companion on too loud, has anyone put any thought to using his parents against him?"
That got all of Batman's people staring at him like he'd grown a second head - a second, very, very evil head. It was only then that Kon realized how what he said probably sounded, especially with Benedict blathering his business all over and making him sound like a horrible ruthless murderer.
"I don't mean hurting them! God, what's wrong with you, people? They're my aunt and uncle! I mean maybe getting them out of the farm, you know, to where it's safe. Where they won't be the next victims of his next big super-baby tantrum - because they will be, at some point. I can tell you that much. They're probably trying to coax him out of being evil in a quiet way because they're terrified of him and super desperate to bring him back over the edge but Pa's got this thing he does where if you push him just the wrong way...it'd be one of those unstoppable force, immovable object situations except in this case the unstoppable force can tear through the immovable object like a wet paper towel."
Something he rather desperately didn't want to happen, which was very clear from his expression.
He finally stopped leaning back in his chair and sat forward.
"We should convince them to come somewhere safe, like here in your big ol' secret hideout. And maybe leave a comm behind so they can safely tell him off once and for all. There's no way they're not gonna be pissed once they find out about your Superboy and having his parents snatched out from under him and crushing him under the weight of their disapproval once it'd be safe enough for them to do it would totally knock him off balance."
He tapped his temple. "Forget the Fortress of Solitude, the farm is his real sanctuary; that's where you can hit him hardest in the psyche. Then he'll be furious, sure, but he'll also be reckless, scattered, and impulsive like the whole rest of the fight."
no subject
But there was serious work to be done here.
Kon raised his hand like he was in class because...well, that was what you did at the big superhero meetings, right? (Right?) Or at least that's what he assumed happened when the Justice League and other superteams had their big meetings. The Titans' meetings didn't have hand raising and - mostly because of Bart but partly because of the lack of hand raising - they tended to be all over the place.
"Dude's crazy off-balance, right? I mean, he's obviously keeping it together enough to keep this choo choo train of evil from going off the rails but I saw enough of, uh, our intel -" How did he explain that was comics books? "- to see that he's also impulsive and out of control half the time. Hence caving in Green Arrow's head like a pumpkin in a fit of pique."
He went on, "So, assuming he hasn't killed Ma and Pa yet for, I don't know, making his mashed potatoes wrong and leaving Prairie Home Companion on too loud, has anyone put any thought to using his parents against him?"
That got all of Batman's people staring at him like he'd grown a second head - a second, very, very evil head. It was only then that Kon realized how what he said probably sounded, especially with Benedict blathering his business all over and making him sound like a horrible ruthless murderer.
"I don't mean hurting them! God, what's wrong with you, people? They're my aunt and uncle! I mean maybe getting them out of the farm, you know, to where it's safe. Where they won't be the next victims of his next big super-baby tantrum - because they will be, at some point. I can tell you that much. They're probably trying to coax him out of being evil in a quiet way because they're terrified of him and super desperate to bring him back over the edge but Pa's got this thing he does where if you push him just the wrong way...it'd be one of those unstoppable force, immovable object situations except in this case the unstoppable force can tear through the immovable object like a wet paper towel."
Something he rather desperately didn't want to happen, which was very clear from his expression.
He finally stopped leaning back in his chair and sat forward.
"We should convince them to come somewhere safe, like here in your big ol' secret hideout. And maybe leave a comm behind so they can safely tell him off once and for all. There's no way they're not gonna be pissed once they find out about your Superboy and having his parents snatched out from under him and crushing him under the weight of their disapproval once it'd be safe enough for them to do it would totally knock him off balance."
He tapped his temple. "Forget the Fortress of Solitude, the farm is his real sanctuary; that's where you can hit him hardest in the psyche. Then he'll be furious, sure, but he'll also be reckless, scattered, and impulsive like the whole rest of the fight."