He went for it, zooming right down that road without looking back.
"Yeah? Maybe everything is all happy endings here in magical fairy tale land, but back home? We lost New York to aliens, two of my friends lost their families to being mutated into monsters - or they're dead, my brother got beaten half to death and spent three months in a coma, and we watched my dad get killed by one of our enemies without being able to do a thing to stop it."
Raph pointed a finger viciously.
"So don't give me 'control is an illusion' when I was taught it my whole life and I've been living it! Don't give me that nonsense about happy endings! This wasn't about pride or tricking myself into thinking I had things under control, this was making sure after that stupid lab that I could even keep my head in the game because it's been that and Leo and sensei and - and everything. This was about controlling myself and knowing I can rely on myself because if I can do that, everyone else can rely on me, too."
He was breathing heavily now.
"And it was better doing that where Mikey wouldn't see something happen to me or I wouldn't let him down because I lost my nerve, okay? It was better he not see that because when I lose it he gets scared. It was something small, I had an out, it all went down fine, and I don't need to do it like that again, okay? It's a done deal and you need to get off my shell about it!"
no subject
"Yeah? Maybe everything is all happy endings here in magical fairy tale land, but back home? We lost New York to aliens, two of my friends lost their families to being mutated into monsters - or they're dead, my brother got beaten half to death and spent three months in a coma, and we watched my dad get killed by one of our enemies without being able to do a thing to stop it."
Raph pointed a finger viciously.
"So don't give me 'control is an illusion' when I was taught it my whole life and I've been living it! Don't give me that nonsense about happy endings! This wasn't about pride or tricking myself into thinking I had things under control, this was making sure after that stupid lab that I could even keep my head in the game because it's been that and Leo and sensei and - and everything. This was about controlling myself and knowing I can rely on myself because if I can do that, everyone else can rely on me, too."
He was breathing heavily now.
"And it was better doing that where Mikey wouldn't see something happen to me or I wouldn't let him down because I lost my nerve, okay? It was better he not see that because when I lose it he gets scared. It was something small, I had an out, it all went down fine, and I don't need to do it like that again, okay? It's a done deal and you need to get off my shell about it!"