[AI] At Least It's Not a Gluten Allergy?

[iamaghostfearme]

The call came in over the Defenders secure commline. Danny wasn't a full blown Young Ally, especially now that he'd gone off the grid with the Thunderbolts, but he still tried to help the Defenders and Young Allies where he could. All his grassroots connections were useful and not many heroes that had come back yet from the Crisis had phasing powers.

Hence them giving him the comm.

Which he was very glad he had at the moment. He'd still been recovering from another fight and the other T-bolts were off on a mission and had warned him they'd be on radio silence.

Despite his injuries, when he saw a bank getting robbed by two supervillains, he'd jumped right in. He wasn't that hurt and they were a total joke.

Only problem was the bank wasn't the real target and they hadn't been alone.

So now, after a merry chase, he was crouching hidden in a warehouse as they tried to find him, wheezing.

"This - is Hollow. Need backup," he wheezed over the comms. "Warehouse - 9th and market - in Nu Nyc. Pinned - by supervillains. Need - epipen."

My, didn't that sound serious?

"Nobody's - allowed - to laugh."

Maybe not that serious.

Comments

[iamaghostfearme]

He couldn't really talk anymore so his face just contorted in a silent, "OOOOOWWWW," and he glared slightly.

Way to jam it in there, Spider-Man.

He fell back on the floor on his back, still wheezing slightly, but before long his breathing started to sound less labored and color came back to his lips.

He was still nowhere close to fighting fit, though.

[siujerkjai]

Crotch-based fury. What the hell are villains coming to? She ducked below the kick, brought her hands up, and wrapped them around the Spot's ankle. A low-level humming emanated from her mouth. It was a trick she'd learned while practicing with Dr. Mid-Nite during her days with the JSA - a manipulation of her canary cry designed to put people off-balance. She yanked on the Spot's leg. "Newsflash, Polka Dot. You kind of are."

[withoutaworld]

Rikki ducks back behind her shield, angling it to deflect the boxing glove back toward his face. Even if that had hit her, she can't imagine it would have accomplished much...

"Crotch-based... ew. I thought you couldn't make this whole shtick creepier, but you did."

She surges forward, keeping the shield between her and Codpiece. As she closes with him, she jumps, using the weapon attached to his hips as a convenient step up to knee him in the face. Taste that, asshole.

[idiotboyfriend]

"Spidey stealing my quips while I'm busy keeping the dying guy alive," Billy mutters under his breath after the epipen does its thing, but there's only so much he can complain when some guy is literally attacking Rikki with his crotch.

Yes, there is the mustard and relish puns and he may never be able to eat either again because those puns were awful, but...

"That is almost enough to make me reconsider being gay, dude, get a new schtick!"

He should possibly not draw attention to himself and the guy who was recently going into anaphylactic shock, but hey, let's not let logic get in the way here.

[holyevilbatman]

The Spot was thrown off balance by Black Canary so hard that he fell onto the floor and got knocked unconscious.

Codpiece getting kneed in the face made him drop like a sack of bricks.

The only ones left standing were the Condiment King and the Trapster.

The Condiment King changed settings on his condiment guns and vinegar started to shoot out in the direction of Black Canary, Spidey, Wiccan, and Danny.

"Try though you mayo, you still will never ketchup to us in this fight! I'll make you vinaigrette ever trying to face us"

[iamaghostfearme]

"Oh my god stop."

[siujerkjai]

"I'm going to relish kicking your ass," Dinah muttered, moving so that she was no longer being attacked by vinegar.

God, she was probably going to stink for a week. Thank god she owned a flower shop. That would help mask the hideous scent somewhat.

[iamaghostfearme]

"You also stop. You're not exempt." Okay, she had helped save him and he was super grateful and all but it was either people stopped with the puns or he was purposefully eating more nutella to escape. "Everybody stop. New rule: no more puns." Yes, he's looking at you, too, Spidey.

[arach_nerd]

"So you're saying we should put a lid on the condiment puns?"

There were very few people on and off Earth who could make Spidey shut up. Danny was not one of them.

While he kept talking, he fired webbing at Condiment King, trying to put a lid on the actual condiments.

[iamaghostfearme]

"If you don't stop, I'm gonna eat more nutella and then I'm gonna die, and I'm gonna do it all just to have an excuse to relentlessly haunt your asses. We're talking full on Ghost Dad. And yes I picked a terrible ghost movie because it will be that terrible." He hates you all now. All of you.

[withoutaworld]

"I should have sat this one out," Rikki mutters under her breath, keeping a boot on Codpiece's chest in case he tries to get up again. This is just embarrassing.

But at least with everyone focusing on the Condiment King and his terrible puns, she feels safe enough tossing a flashbang in the Trapster's direction and hopefully not blinding anyone else in the process. He's going to be a lot less annoying if he's too disoriented to aim... and to be honest, Condiment King doesn't seem like enough of a threat to worry about. One of the others will put him down soon.