[LN] Thank Goodness We're Well-rounded Characters

[matchmadeinhell]

Kon was reading at relative superspeed. It wasn't at his usual brisk pace, because he found that the limitations of his powers meant he couldn't retain the knowledge for more than a few minutes at his usual speeds, so he had to slow it down a little, but he was still thumbing through far faster than some of the others were taking just to go through the study guides they'd quickly procured.

"Is it just the fact I'm reading this as superspeed or does this story make no sense?" Kon said, as he thumbed through page after page.

Another reality shard had fallen away and now that their brands had signaled it, it was time to go dimension-hopping. Fortunately, it was a very small shard in the middle of the wilderness in Siberia and the area of effect was spreading slowly, so they had time to prepare.

With his otherworldly wisdom, Manny had managed to help out on this one, communicating some clues about the world they were about to enter by flashing the image of a cover of a book.

A fairly terrible book. Apparently they were entering the world it was based on.

So they were doing their homework as they geared up to go and trying to make sense of the senseless.

"So what I'm getting from this is this is a world where you're not allowed to have more than one personality trait? I think? Under pain of death, you have to be a one-dimensional character."

Comments

[staff_and_wielder]

"...I don't want to go back," Nico said, trying to keep her voice from cracking like the foundation of a house built on a fault line. "I don't want to-- I can't deal with any of those--"

Words failed her and she tried to wipe the blood off her hands onto her pants. "Can't you just get me a wet towel or something?" she asked weakly. Let her stay here, where she didn't have to tolerate the staring and the whispering?

[othersdestructive]

They were in one of those little alcoves, the empty walkways in this place that didn't always have people passing by. It was a place where she might not even be noticed even if someone was walking past.

"I'll be right back," he promised her, and he was back so quickly with a warm wet towel that it was clear he'd probably ninjaed his way to where he'd had to go to get it. It was the only way he could've gotten back that quickly.

[staff_and_wielder]

She didn't really care where or how he'd gotten it, he'd gone and got it without her and come back before she freaked out again or had even done more than think about leaning against the wall and maybe sliding down to the floor.

"Thanks," she said, taking the towel and getting to work cleaning off her hands. She had to be careful, she was feeling a crawling urge to rub them raw and that wasn't a good idea. Blood-borne diseases might still be a thing here.

She hated this. She hated this and she didn't want to be here, she didn't want to be standing in some dusty alcove trying to clean someone else's blood out from under her fingernails and trying not to cry. She didn't want to have been tapped to save all of the infinite realities out there, she didn't want to have a magic staff that ran off her own blood. She wanted something, anything normal so badly that she could taste it.

...Literally, when she threw the bloodied towel on the ground and dragged Raph clumsily in for a kiss. Screw waiting. Screw 'enjoying the trip for once'. Please God, just let her have something normal today.

[othersdestructive]

Raph wasn't expecting that. Partly because Raph never would have expected it in a million years. He'd wedged the idea that they were just friends and that she'd never want anything more than that so firmly into his head that the only thing he had space for alongside it was his stupid teen angst about it.

But even if it was clumsy the kiss was filled with need and desire and all the things he wished so desperately that she might feel for him.

And it ignited those feelings he always had for her, of wanting to show her how he felt, of wanting to make her feel special, of wanting to make her feel good. He wanted so, so badly to be something that made her feel good. It made his chest ache and he didn't even technically have one under the plastron.

Strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her in close, firmly, one arm sliding up her back so he could cradle the back of her head with his hand. It was his first kiss and it took him by surprise, and he had no idea what he was doing - especially since his stiffer lips weren't exactly ideal for figuring out kissing on the fly - but that didn't stop him from kissing her back.

Not just passionately. Wildly. Ferociously.

[staff_and_wielder]

All of Nico's prior kissing experience had occurred with people taller than her, but it wasn't too hard to adapt what she already knew to the present situation. The stiffer-than-human lips were a bit more difficult but she would figure it out if it meant that she got to kiss a boy who she liked and liked her back. Figuring out how to kiss Raph meant that she wasn't thinking about what had happened on the bridge or what would happen when they left this dusty little corner of Dauntless. She didn't have to think about it when she could think about this instead.

She plastered herself up against his front and cradled his head in her hands and kissed him and kissed him like she was trying to erase the world around them with her willpower alone.

[othersdestructive]

It would've been the best feeling in the world if things were different, if this was just a normal day and she'd swooped in and started kissing him. It would've been a very good day if that was what'd happened.

But today hadn't been a good day. Today was a terrible day. He could feel the little scab on her lip from it being split earlier when she was fighting and bruises were still fresh on her face whenever he peeked open his eyes.

And right now he wasn't wearing his own face. It was a stranger's face, an alien face.

You're just convenient, said the little voice in the back of his head he didn't want to hear. You don't even look like yourself to her, you look human. She's hurting. That's all this is. She's hurting. There's no way she'd ever be into you the rest of the time. No way.

And as much as it hurt to acknowledge that, he couldn't be something else that hurt her, too.

She'd regret this. Look back on it and wonder why she'd made out with the weird mutant boy. Maybe even feel taken advantage of. She was hurting and that was the only reason she wanted this right now and he wasn't going to be someone else that hurt her, too. Even if it hurt to acknowledge that was all he could be, the boy that was convenient. That he couldn't be someone she wanted the rest of the time.

He pulled away enough to breathe, even though he still held her close in his arms.

"Wait. Nico, wait," he gasped. "We shouldn't do this. You're upset right now."

[staff_and_wielder]

And apparently it didn't matter if she didn't think about what would happen later because 'later' was happy to intrude without so much as a warning. Nico snapped her hands away from him like someone had run a live wire under Raph's skin, her shoulders crumpling in as she pulled herself as far away from him as his grip on her would allow.

She couldn't even have this. She'd pushed it too far and ruined it, just like she always did.

"I'm sorry," she choked out. "I didn't mean-- I didn't want-- I'm awful. I'm always, always awful."

[othersdestructive]

"No," he said, shaking his head, not quite ready to let her go yet, even though his grip on her loosened if she really need to get away. "Oh, Nico, you're not awful."

It hurt. It hurt to hear her apologize for it, to know he was right, but it wasn't her fault she'd been hurt like this, so badly that she tossed herself at whatever warmth and comfort she could find.

He tried to catch her eye.

"You're upset right now and I just don't want to do something with you that you regret later." He shook his head. "I don't want to be something else that hurts you, too."

He reached his hand up to tilt her chin so he could look into her eyes.

"If you want comfort right now, you don't need to - we don't have to do that. And you don't even have to ask. We can go somewhere quiet and I can - I can just -"

He swept his arms around her again in a comforting hug, one that took advantage of how the spell made him feel squishier, warm and strong and safe and loving.

"As long as you need," he breathed out into her ear.

[staff_and_wielder]

She didn't try to pull all the way away from him -- even if he didn't want her, she still needed someone to touch her. Needed physical contact to keep her from falling back into her memories of attack Eric before they scabbed over. Because otherwise she would, she knew she'd sit there and play them over and over and over until they were imprinted on her memory in unnecessarily lurid detail.

Nico let Raph pull her into a hug again, but she didn't hug him back this time. She curled her arms between them, folded across her chest the way you would a corpse's, clenching her hands into fists to set them as a barrier.

Then she let herself cry. She probably wasn't going to get many more chances to do that.

She wanted to go home.

[othersdestructive]

"C'mon. Come with me," he said and then he lead her away, an arm held protectively tight around her shoulders.

There were plenty of places in this dump to hide. It was just as complicated and fill of nooks and crannies and hidden locations the sewers of New York. He knew of one place, a little unlocked storeroom he'd found nosing around that looked like people never went inside, judging from the dust. He figured that would be nice and secluded and away from all the creeps and crazy people.

When he got her in there, light from outside dimly filtered through the grimy windows. He found a stack of unused blankets and took off the one on the top and threw it to the side, since it was covered in dust. Underneath, the other blankets were cleaner.

He sat her down there and sat next to her, holding her close.

"It doesn't have to be like that," he whispered. It didn't have to be all... him taking advantage. "It can just be like this."

With that, he pressed little kisses to her face, catching each of the tears, then buried his face in her neck and held her. Right now they were sitting up but she could easily shove him over if she wanted to cuddle lying down.

"I've got you," he whispered. "I've got you."

[staff_and_wielder]

Nico let him lead her without protest, curled in on herself like a dead pill bug. She stood there, crying silently, while he selected blankets and steered her to sit down against the wall, wrapped up in his arms. His words washed over her when he spoke and they passed over her ears like water. There was no urgency to them, no warning, so she let them be soothing without making an effort to assign them further meaning.

When he kissed her cheeks though, she turned her face away, closing her eyes -- if he didn't want her to kiss him, she didn't want his pity kisses.

She just...while she had the chance, she was just going to trust that she could sit here and cry and that he'd deal with anyone or anything that tried to bother them. That they were far enough away from the stupid people of this world that she didn't have to keep up a front. She might be too weak to push him away like she should, but she just couldn't dredge up the effort to fight him enough to prove that she was strong.

And maybe if she cried long enough, she could stop caring. About anything.

[othersdestructive]

It was okay, her not wanting the kisses. He understood perfectly why she wouldn't want any from him, especially at a time like this. So he didn't do it again, but he still held her, let cry as long as she needed it.

He'd sit there all day if he had to.